The Revolution Starts Within: Attachment, Trauma, and Social Change
It's that time of year that invites us to look deeper at how we can create a healthier, more harmonious culture and world. First, we start with the inner world cultivating inner harmony that ripples outward and manifests externally in our relationships and communities.
We are all living in an abusive relationship with systems of oppression that have trained us not to see each other as equal, to view one another through lenses of bias, prejudice, and even hatred. We've been conditioned to be self-driven and addicted to our comforts and privileges, even at the expense of others. We've been taught to dehumanize one another.
Throughout my journey as a mother navigating divorce, confronting my own fears and trauma to break intergenerational cycles of suffering, I've discovered that attachment theory can be a gateway to deeper harmony and love in our culture. It helps us see how insecure attachment lies at the root of so much grievance, resentment, envy, hatred, and greed that creates the division and polarization we witness today.
Insecurity breeds more insecurity. Developmental and relational trauma makes us susceptible to ideologies and groups that promise false security and power. This is why understanding our attachment patterns is crucial they're deeply connected to the spiritual poverty we've internalized and inherited.
I became aware of attachment theory during a pivotal moment in my life, as a mother to a two-year-old while navigating my divorce. By applying its core principles, I experienced profound transformation in my relationships. Throughout my practice, I've noticed recurring themes of attachment wounds and longing for deeper connection among clients and in my personal relationships.
In a time marked by an epidemic of loneliness and a crisis of belonging, attachment theory serves as a valuable framework to restore harmony and connection. I firmly believe it's a pathway to healing - not just individual healing, but collective healing that can help us become more prosperous as a society.
What is Attachment Theory?
Attachment theory, developed by British psychologist John Bowlby in 1958, reveals how an infant's capacity to develop and flourish is significantly influenced by their bond with caregivers. Children are biologically predisposed to seek proximity to attachment figures for survival. When caregivers are present and responsive, they foster security - establishing a secure base that allows children to explore the world safely.
Our internal attachment system, shaped by early experiences, informs us about the safety of the world and our ability to rely on others. Children who learn the world is unsafe and adults unreliable may develop insecure attachment styles that impact them throughout life.
Insecure attachment - attachment trauma from early experiences has enduring effects on the body. When triggered, it activates our autonomic nervous system's fight-flight-freeze response. Research shows how early experiences shape brain chemistry, hormonal systems, and overall brain wiring, impacting all aspects of health and increasing risks for mental health issues, immune disorders, and chronic conditions.
A Call for Revolutionary Change
Since insecure attachment is a type of trauma, it poses a public health issue that demands trauma-informed care systems rather than punitive ones. For instance, instead of channeling resources into institutional practices like incarceration which perpetuate insecure attachment, separation, and suffering—we should focus on investing in socio-emotional early childhood programs, organizations that support mothers, children, and families, community initiatives, and holistic mental health and addiction treatment.
Attachment theory can serve as a valuable guide for parents, teachers, coaches, and caregivers, helping us to be more intentional and equipped in raising our children. This framework can assist us in identifying barriers that hinder our ability to be present, nurturing, and responsive to the children and relationships in our lives.
This is where the revolution truly begins not in the streets or in policy changes alone, but in how we choose to show up for one another, starting with the most vulnerable among us. When we heal our own attachment wounds and create secure connections, we're not just transforming our personal lives - we're participating in the collective healing our world desperately needs.
Coming in this 3-part series:
Part 1: Self - Understanding your attachment patterns and healing your inner world
Part 2: Relationships - Creating secure connections and breaking cycles of trauma
Part 3: Community - Building systems that support collective healing and transformation
This 3-part series is just the beginning. Subscribe to stay connected with a growing community of changemakers who believe the revolution starts within. Get early access to tools, resources, and conversations that matter.